Happy Godly Home
AS I sat here thinking about how to have a happy, peaceful Christian home, I thought about what happiness and peace really meant to me.
Over the past couple years I have had to deal with so many persons who have unhappy marriages; which leads to a toxic home environment.
So I decided to never get married but my hubby changed my mind.
However, as I tried to figure out what made so many homes unhappy, I realized that there were some common factors
A lot of times we have past hurts that have not been dealt with. It could be childhood abuse or spousal abuse. If you don’t deal with these issues before you enter into a relationship; you are setting up yourself for failure.
Not willing to forgive
I can tell you that I believe this is one of the hardest ones and one of the most important to have a happy and peaceful home.
Obviously, if you can’t let go of what your spouse has done to you, both of you will be very unhappy. Do not fool yourselves if children are involved, they will feel the tension and be unhappy as well.
However, remember that forgiveness is divine we cannot do it of ourselves; we have to ask the Lord to help us with this one. Cry out to the Lord to help you, if you really want your marriage to work.
The big quarrel or the silent treatment that we as women love to give to our husbands is not healthy for our relationships. I know wives who boast about not speaking to their spouses for weeks or giving them the silent treatment; seriously something is wrong with that!!
There is nothing Godly about that.
“But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Keep external influences to a minimal
I am no relationship expert but from early in our marriage my hubby and I decided that if we have an issue we would not get other persons involved.
For instance, do not go running to family members and friends as soon as your spouse has done you wrong. In my opinion most times it solves nothing.
In addition, I realise that after you have forgiven your spouse and moved on, your friends and family members still look at your partner in the negative, which puts a strain on their relationships.
And please! Please! remember that not everyone means your relationship well. Be very careful who you take marital advice from!!
– Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh
– Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive [them], and ye shall have [them].
Prayer changes things, so whatever problems you have taken it to the Lord in prayer.
Remember to pray in the good times and the bad times. Talk to God individually and as a family.
Be kind to one another
Look out for each other, be considerate. Think before you speak to your spouse. Problems will arise but be respectful in how you resolve them.
For instance, if you have a disagreement the whole neighbourhood does not need to know
And also do not speak badly about your spouse to others, I see spouses do this all the time and man I just feel some type of way about it. LIsten it makes you look just as bad as your spouse. If you are Guilty stop it now!!
Lack of money can make a peaceful, happy Christian home become so toxic. I had to rewire my thinking where this is concerned. My husband is self-employed and when we just got married if he didn’t have any work for a couple days I would start to get irritable.
As I am writing this he has not gone to work for a couple days and I am not getting irritable. I am not where I should be in dealing with money issues. But I am getting there.
Talk about money issues before you get married, a lot of persons, do not want to have this conversation. Lay it all on the table; debts, family obligations and savings. There should be no surprises after marriage.
Learn to roll with the tide, if one of you lose a job and money is tight, make the necessary adjustments. If only one spouse is working, remember the money belongs to both of you; make decisions together or else the spouse who is not working will feel left out.
However, coming into lots of money after not having any has problems too. Just remember the money belongs to both of you so make collective decisions.
– Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
In everything put God first and you will have a happy and peaceful Christian home. God is your counsellor, your healer, your provider, he can fix any broken relationship just believe in him.
Spend quality time together
After you have started having children or been married for a couple of years and the stress of everyday life kicks in, we can easily forget about this.
Not having any money is not an excuse for not spending quality time with each other.
So make sure you have date nights or a day out; just the 2 of you. It could be just sitting at home and watching your favourite movies or having a romantic dinner at home. Spending time together is very important.
Laugh a lot, physical touch is very important; lots of hugs and kisses.
And remember everyone marriage is not the same, what might work for you will not necessarily work for me.
4 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether [there be] prophecies, they shall fail; whether [there be] tongues, they shall cease; whether [there be] knowledge, it shall vanish away.
Moreover, to have a peaceful, happy Christian home we must remember that none of us is perfect. We all have our faults, so ask the Lord to make you a better spouse and parent, so you can a happy home.