The pain of lies will ruin your life
I am sitting here thinking about all the struggles I have gone through. How have I dealt with the pain of persons telling lies on me? My childhood days were bitter-sweet, I got some very harsh punishments that I did not deserve. As I sit here writing, it is as if it all happened yesterday.people always seem to accuse me of something, that I am not guilty of. I can remember a girl looking me straight in my eyes and saying she heard me cursing over a man….it was a bare-faced lie… I could not believe she looked me in the eyes and lied on me. Adulthood has not made my life any easier. family members and so-called friends have lied on me. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from perfect; I believe this is why persons find it so easy to lie on me.
“Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.”
Telling lies on the lord
The one that got me most of all was when I was told the lord told someone to tell a so-called friend of mine that I had an affair with her husband, I still don’t understand, I was in shock for days. There was no one that could ease my pain, I went into a deep depression, I almost lost my marriage, not because of the accusations but how hard I took it.
People will throw you under the bus
I had one mutual friend of the accuser and I that said something I will always remember. He said”what she is saying does not make any sense, God is not a God of war, “I know God is not a God of confusion, so this can,t be true. but I will not say anything because I don’t want her to be upset with me too.”. Most persons will not stand up for you. So there and then I knew I would have to figure it out on my own.
Dealing with your emotions
Confusion and anger was the order of my days just after the accusation. I remembered days I could not do anything but cry. I question God a lot because I had just gotten baptized when that happened. A lot of people say we should not question God ..l asked a lot of questions.
Angry with God
It was so easy for me to be angry with God. I could not pray or read my bible.” why did God allow this to happen to me” that is all I kept on asking but no one could give me a good solid answer. how I felt about God at that time, I often wondered if I blasphemed. When Your Faith Is Being Tested
“But you can’t make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. It can’t last.”
Time makes it better
Don’t tell me how I should feel or how long it should take for me to get over it. Each of us deals with the pain of lies differently. I wallowed in self-pity, why me? How could this happen to me?.we have no idea what is going to happen along the journey of life…but we have to deal with it when it comes.
Make or break
- Either I was going to get stronger or I would be broken as a result of this. Injustice happens in life to some of us more than others. Having that one friend that said “I know it is a lie” made a world of difference to me, she will never understand what she did for me and I remember listening to Joyce Meyer speak about how to deal with people lying on you. Praying and talking to other persons who have gone through what you have been through helps a lot. It is nice when someone says “I am praying for you” but I wanted to hear about someone who experienced the same thing. That happened to me about five years ago… I have come a long way but I still question God as to why it happened and I have not totally forgiven the person. Allowing the person to control my life is not an option, if I remain angry that is what would happen so I had to be deliberate about letting go. These are some of the tips I used to get to where I am :
Being truthful about how I felt
I spoke to my husband about how I felt
I prayed…it was not easy
Listened to motivational speakers…speaking about forgiveness
Spoke about the painful experiences
I tried my best not to come in contact with the person…needed the space to heal.
I used those methods to get over my pain.
Those are some of the methods that worked for me. It is very important that you identify what will work for you.